


More Than That

by princessdianaofthemiscyra



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, F/F, Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, and lexa does anything clarke asks, but it backfires, clarke is super broke and in debt, clexa fake dating, fake marriage au, raven's their minister too lmao, so they tell a billionaire they're getting married hoping they get money
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 23:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17375678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessdianaofthemiscyra/pseuds/princessdianaofthemiscyra
Summary: Clarke needs money to cover her debt, so she asks Lexa to be her fake fiancée so she could scheme money off a billionaire.Of course, it backfires, and now they’re stuck planning a wedding.





	More Than That

**Author's Note:**

> Based of the Tumblr post about inviting billionaires to weddings hoping they won't show up and send you money instead.

Clarke came barging in like a bull in a china shop. “Wanna get fake married?”

“Well good morning to you, too, Clarke,” Lexa looked up at her roommate. It was nine in the morning on a Saturday. Clarke never got out of bed before eleven on a weekend. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Look here,” Clarke threw her phone at Lexa, the other girl barely catching it before it hit her in the face. Clarke has pulled up a Tumblr post.

_what if you send letters to billionaires inviting them to weddings do you think they would have their assistants send you money for not showing up i mean they have the cash to spare_

“That would be a scam, Clarke,” Lexa said, pushing up her glasses. “And it’s illegal. I work at a law firm, I should know this,”

“Oh come on, Lex! They have billions! And I have so much increasing debt from med school and I’ll make next to nothing at my residency when it starts so I’ll have debt until I’m like, fifty. Surely it won’t be the worst thing in the world for them to donate a few grand to the Clarke Griffin Does Not Want To Suffer Forever Charity?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“And it’s not like they need _all_ that money. What are they going to do? Be buried with it?”

“I could literally say anything and you wouldn’t even hear,”

“Of course I would give you a part of it, too, but like, not a _ton_ , you get that right? Like, your parents covered your law school, which is great! But Abby and Jake aren’t giving me anything, so I need to find a way to make money and this idea just seems so _perfect_ -“

“I had sex with Jasper last night,”

“So I looked up local billionaires so it doesn’t seem so far fetched if they lived in like, Alaska or something-“

“Raven and I are adopting an elk family and moving to Kalamazoo,”

“And I found one! Dante Wallace! He’s the head of some huge oil company and is worth like, thirty billion. I Googled it,”

“Clarke,” 

“It would bring me out of my debt! Even if he gave me like, a few thousand dollars it would help,”

“Clarke!” 

“And we wouldn’t even have it be a real wedding! We can just _tell_ him we’re getting married and he’ll probably send something! He doesn’t have the time to _actually_ come down and see two random girls get married!”

_”Clarke!”_

“What?”

“If I agree would you please shut up?”

Clarke smiled widely and dropped to her knees next to Lexa’s bed. “Alexandria Woods, my best friend, will you do me the honor of fake marrying me so I can get enough money from this billionaire to carry me out of my debt?” 

“Do we have to plan a legit wedding?”

“No, your name will just be on the card.”

“Then yes, I will fake marry you for a money scheme,”

“Oh hell yes!” Clarke cheered, throwing her arms around Lexa. “Thank you!”

~~

“This is illegal,”

“Exactly what I said,”

“You two are buzzkills. I think it should at least be given a shot,” Raven fist bumped Clarke. “Good luck, Princess,”

Octavia scoffed, mixing her drink with her straw. “Pretty sure you could get arrested if anyone found out,”

“Who would check? This guy has a million other things to do than check up on the marital status of two millennials,” Clarke said. “And besides, Lexa’s in all my Facebook and Instagram photos anyways, and we’ve known each other since elementary school. Plus, we live together. We basically are married minus the sex stuff,”

“Except for the very real fact that you are not getting married or having sex, nor do you plan to,” 

“Octavia, stop killing my dream,” 

“I’d give it up, O, I tried everything,” Lexa sighed. “Besides, we’re not throwing a real wedding, so the worst thing he could do is just not answer,”

“No, the worst thing to do is that he finds out and turns you into the feds,”

“That won’t happen. Like I said, this guy has a million other things better to do,” Clarke pulled out her phone and handed it to Raven and Octavia. “Look at what I have so far. I’m going to write it down on some fancy paper so it looks more eloquent,”

Raven snatched Clarke’s phone, eyes scanning over the document. “Loved her since childhood… together since college graduation… blah blah blah… I love art… in my third year of med school... wants to be a surgeon. I would add more fluff,” 

“Fluff?”

“Make it more romantic. Write about Lexa more. Give him more of a sympathy story. Dramatize it. I could write it for you if you want. Probably would get a couple more bucks,”

“If you want it to sound better, have Bell critique it, not Raven,” Octavia quipped. 

“Hey!”

“Agreed, Bellamy is a better writer,” Lexa nodded. 

“You bitches! I’m a great writer,”

“You’re an engineer. And in high school you inched had me critique an essay you wrote about _The Catcher in the Rye_ being about bread. And your thesis was something like ‘This novel is stupid and I back this up because there’s no mention of rye bread.’ You got a D,” Lexa reminded Raven. 

“My writing could have improved in college,”

“You went to an engineering college. Also, you had me critique all your papers there too, even if it was feedback,” 

“Bellamy said he’d look at it,” Octavia said, showing them the response from her brother. 

“Oh hell yeah!” Clarke cheered.

“Great, now we have Bellamy in on this scheme too,” Lexa said sarcastically. “So we can all go to prison together,”

“Dreams, Lexa. You’re killing mine.”

~~

Two weeks later, Clarke was pleasantly surprised to find a thick card stock envelope in her mailbox. It was addressed to her, and the return address was to the Wallace Corp building in D.C.. She ran upstairs to her and Lexa’s apartment and tore open the letter. Her mouth hung open in shock.

_Dear Miss Griffin,  
Thank you so much for thinking of me for your special day. You and your fiancée Alexandria sound wonderful._

_I was quite pleased by your fondness of art. As you know, I am also a patron of the arts in many institutions. Your passion in the letter you wrote to me moved me. Because of this, I would like to discuss your insights more in depth. I understand if you would have no time on the big day of yours, but I would be glad to make your acquaintance._

_I look forward to meeting you and your fiancée on your wedding day._

_Sincerely, Dante Wallace_

Attached was the gimmicky card Clarke added for the entree, marked _Fish_.

“Holy shit, he’s coming,” Clarke stares at the note in horror.

“Who’s coming?” Lexa asked from the kitchen counter, laptop open. 

“Dante Wallace,” 

“What do you mean _he’s coming_?” Lexa walked over snatched the letter out of Clarke’s hand. “Oh god. No. We have to shut it down,”

“Lexa!”

“This has gone too far. No. We can’t have this billionaire come to a wedding that isn’t happening. Oh god, this is a scam. We’re performing a scam. I could lose my license for this. I could go to jail! I could-“

“Hey! Stop that!” 

“I can’t go to prison, Clarke! Someone would make me their bitch so quickly! I don’t want to be someone’s bitch!” 

“You’re not going to be someone’s bitch-“

“My grandma’s spirit is going to be so disappointed in me. She always said ‘Alexandria, be the best you can be.’ She’s going to be so upset. And this will kill my mother. Oh my God,”

“Lexa, calm down,”

“Don’t tell me to calm down I’ll throw a spatula in your face!” Lexa said frantically. She grabbed her keys and jacket, heading towards the door. “No, no Clarke. Shut it down,”

“Where are you going? You’re still in your pajamas!”

“Shut it down, Clarke!”

“Lexa!” But Lexa was already gone. Clarke sighed. She knew exactly where the other girl was going. Shooting a quick text to Lexa’s cousin Anya telling her what was to come, Clarke went to her bedroom, eyes scanning over the paper dozens of times. “What the hell did Bellamy write that made him so intrigued?”

~~

When she’s stressed, Clarke paints. That day, she painted a lot. She put herself, and Lexa, in this huge shitstorm because she thought she could scam her way into getting her debt covered for med school.

She painted a landscape, one of where the earth and the sky met but barely touched, brushing against each other as if meeting in a soft kiss. The trees shot up to the heavens while the stars shone brightly over the portrait. By the time she was finished, it was starting to get dark. 

Lexa came back around seven, calmer and more level headed than before. “It has come to my attention that I overreacted. This won’t make me lose my license,” Is all she said to Clarke before going back to her room. Clarke noted that she was still wearing her flannel pajama bottoms, glasses still perched upon her nose. Five minutes later, Lexa returned fully dressed.

“Get ready,”

“Where are we going?” Clarke asked. She spent the day painting, trying to clear her head from all the crazy shit that went on in the morning.

“Dinner with Raven, remember? No offense, but I doubt paint stained jeans and your dad’s oversized t-shirt is proper attire,”

“Shut up, Woods,”

“Get dressed, Griffin,” Clarke was relieved that Lexa wasn’t in a panicky mood like earlier. She let out a breath that she felt like she was holding in since Lexa left this morning. 

The two of them were walking down the street to the restaurant Raven told them to meet her at, some trendy new place that she was dying to try. On the walk, Lexa brought up the topic. 

“At least you gave it a shot. What are you going to tell Dante? We broke up? Better off as friends? Oh, how about a stray bullet that was meant for you hit me and I died tragically,”

“In what world would that last thing happen?”

“I dunno, just came to me. But what are you planning on telling him,”

“About that…” Clarke sped up her walking a little bit. It was better if she didn’t see Lexa’s face for this. “I wasn’t going to tell him anything,” 

“What?” 

“I wasn’t going to tell him that we broke up,”

“So… he still going to think we’re getting married?” Lexa asked, voice rising slightly. “Clarke! Look at me!”

Clarke flinched and turned around. “Okay, I knew you would freak out-“

“Of course I’m freaking out!” 

“But I have a perfectly logical plan-“

“Clarke! It took Anya an hour and the promise of a candle shopping spree to calm me down! And now you’re saying you’re _still_ going to make me go through with this? Cause I won’t!”

“Do we have to talk about this now? Look, we’re here,”

“Fine, but this conversation isn’t over!”

“Yes it is. You always end up doing what I want,”

“I do not!”

“You kind of do. Like in the second grade when I wanted to play soccer but you wanted to do fall softball. We joined the soccer team. Or when we were sixteen and you were the lookout when we took my parent’s car to go to a party at Georgetown. You didn’t want to go but did because I asked you to. Or in college when-“

“Clarke! Getting fake married is different than parties and sports! This is completely insane! No one is going to believe that we are in love-“

“Lexa?” She felt her blood run cold. She recognized that voice. There was a time where that voice was her favorite thing in the whole world. 

Clarke’s eyes widened as they looked over Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa grimaced, before putting on a fake smile and turning around.

“Costia. Hello,” she forced out, laced with fake sweetness.

“Hey!” her ex-girlfriend exclaimed, throwing her arms around Lexa’s neck. This took Lexa by surprise, causing her to stagger a little, before hesitantly patting her on the back. Costia clung to Lexa like she was a dear old friend, and not someone she completely obliterated the heart of in high school. “What are the odds of me running into you? You look so good!”

“Thanks,” Lexa said quietly. Costia saw that Lexa was not alone.

“Clarke Griffin?” Costia beamed, before flinging herself at Clarke. Clarke’s shocked expression turned into an angry and annoyed one.

“Didn’t you move to New York? Why are you in D.C.?"

“You’re right! For college, I did,” Costia gave her a dazzling smile, not picking up on Clarke’s hostile body language. “I’m here for a few days visiting some friends. I brought my boyfriend with me and we’re staying with my aunt,”

“Boyfriend?” Lexa asked, hurt filling her voice. Old memories came rushing back to Clarke. Memories of Lexa crying to her about how Costia, the golden girl everyone at their high school fawned over, dumped her, telling Lexa that she was a phase she needed to sort out before college. That the past year and a half basically meant nothing to her, while they meant everything to Lexa. Costia was Lexa’s first everything, but to Costia, Lexa was nothing but an experiment. 

Costia did this right after her and Lexa were caught by a teacher in a supply closet, outing the couple to the school. After the scandal, Costia left Lexa in the dust, basically ghosting her. It broke Lexa’s heart, and Clarke was the one who had to pick up the pieces. 

Clarke wanted to bash Costia’s head in. 

“Yep! Here he is,” Costia beamed at the man coming out of the shop. “Babe! Come and meet some old friends,”

The guy smiled warmly at Lexa. It made her stomach churn. “Hi. I’m Conner,”

“These girls and I were classmates in high school,” Costia explained. Clarke waited for Costia to mention something else, because Lexa sure as hell was more than just a _classmate_. “This is-“

“I’m Lexa, and this is Clarke, my fiancée,” Lexa blurted out. Clarke felt her stomach do flips. So they _are_ doing this. 

“Fiancée?” Costia asked, the warmth in her voice gone, filled with some kind of jealousy. She quickly shook it off (seemingly) and flashed them a smile that never quite reached her eyes. 

“Nice to meet you both,” Conner said, oblivious to his girlfriend’s jealousy. “And congratulations. When’s the wedding?” 

“June 27th,” Clarke said, as it was the date she gave Dante.

“What do your parents think of this, Lexi?” Costia asked, venom in her voice thinly veiled with fake sincerity. Clarke cringed at the old petname Lexa’s ex used.

“They were thrilled,” Lexa said coolly. “They loved Clarke ever since we were kids. Actually, my mother gave me my grandma’s ring to propose with. Apparently, my grandma told my mother ‘Clarke is the only one I want to have this ring.’ And you know how grandmas are,” Lexa pulled Clarke close to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and faking a laugh. 

“Right,” If Costia’s fake smile was any wider, her face would split in half. Her eyes were filled with rage. “So… Lexi. You just _have_ to tell me, just _when_ did you two kids get together?”

“Oh… well, fairly recently, but you know, the feelings were always there-“

“I’ve loved her since we were children,” Clarke interrupted. “I think I loved her before I even knew what love was. Every time something bad happened, whenever I was hopeless, she was there for me. She was my light. She still is,” 

Lexa felt herself go breathless. Clarke said that with so much ease, and it made her heart beat a mile a minute. In some ways, Lexa felt the same. Clarke was always there for her, and she was always there for Clarke. Despite everything, Clarke was the one constant in Lexa’s live.

 _”Right,”_ Costia seethed again. “Well, I don’t want to keep you two _lovebirds_ -“

“Yo! Clexa! Wait up!” Raven shouted, pushing her way through the crowded street. “You guys- Holy shit! Costia _fucking_ Goode? As I live and breathe? How the hell are you?” 

Costia flinched as Raven clapped her shoulder. “Raven Reyes. A pleasure,”

“I sure as hell am! Who is this dude?”

“This is Conner. And we’re leaving,” Costia gave Lexa another sweet/vicious grin before pulling her boyfriend by the arm. “Bye, Lexi,” 

“Nice meeting you girls! Best of luck with the wedding!” Conner called over his shoulder, causing an aggressive yank from Costia. 

Raven turned to Lexa and Clarke with a shit-eating grin on her face. “You told her you two were getting married? Why would you do that?”

“Cause the billionaire just wrote back today saying he’s coming to the wedding which doesn’t exist,” Lexa explained. “Then Costia showed up and… I dunno. I panicked. It was fresh in my mind because we were just talking about it,” 

Raven looked between her two friends. “You guys serious? Richie Rich wrote back?”

Lexa nodded. Raven literally fell to the ground laughing, causing pedestrians to look at her as if she had lost her damn mind. (She had) “You guys are in such deep shit,”

“Give me your phone,” Lexa demanded, then carefully typing in Clarke’s password. “You’re lucky you’re my best friend, Clarke. Because I wouldn’t do this for anyone else,”

“So… we’re going to do this?”

“Oh yes, we are doing this. And just for the record, I don’t do everything you ask,” 

"Yes, you do," Lexa handed Clarke her phone back, having it opened on the Facebook app. She had created a new life event.

 _Clarke Griffin is engaged to Lexa Woods_

~~

“Karolina’s really pretty, don’t you think?” Lexa asked. Her and Clarke were laying on their couch, the blonde’s legs over Lexa’s lap, binge watching the first season of _Runaways_. Raven declined joining the two roommates after dinner, ditching them for a Tinder hookup. 

“Dude,”

“Hmm?”

“Karolina literally looks like me,” Clarke smirked. 

“What? No she doesn’t,” 

“Yes she does. Look at her,” Clarke gestured to the TV. “She looks like she could be our daughter, when we have one,”

Lexa started choking on a piece of popcorn. _”What?”_

“Calm down there, don’t want you to die before our wedding,” Clarke giggles. 

“You said _‘ when we have one,’”_

“No, I said if we had one,” Clarke insisted, not meeting Lexa’s eyes. 

“Clarke-“

“Hush! Something’s happening,” Clarke put a hand over Lexa’s mouth, watching the screen. Right before a big reveal was about to happen, there was a pounding at the door, causing Clarke to jump and the popcorn to spill everywhere.

“Clarke Abigail Griffin you open this door right now!”

“Is that your mom?” Lexa asked, picking the bowl off the floor. 

“I think so,” Clarke said, confused. She got off of Lexa and walked towards the door, barely opening it before Abby Griffin came charging through.

“Facebook? Really, Clarke? _Facebook?_ The most important moment of my daughter’s life and I find out through a Facebook post?” Abby huffed, clearly pissed off. She smiled warmly at Lexa. “Hello, dear,” 

“Mom, what are you doing here? It’s like, one in the morning,” Clarke asked, bewildered. “You live in the suburbs,”

“I drove. Drove! At night to D.C! Because my daughter, who apparently is getting _married,_ refused to answer my calls!” 

“I-I haven’t used my phone all night…” Clarke stammered. “It died while I was out,”

Abby looked annoyed, before handing her daughter her phone. Lexa came up behind Clarke to see as well. Clarke’s Facebook announcement that Lexa put up last night was at the top of the screen. Under it, Clarke saw dozens of comments that she flicked through.

**Octavia Blake and 246 friends liked this**

**Bellamy Blake:** Get it, Griff. I need details later

 **Monty Green:** YAAAY!! Congrats!! 

**Jasper Jordan:** what

 **Harper McIntyre:** No way!! Love you both so so much!!

 **Luna Rivers:** lol you guys owe me 50$ each **Lincoln Woods Anya Woods**

 **Nathan Miller:** Congratulations!! Always knew you guys were meant for each other 

**Raven Reyes:** HAH

Clarke rolled her eyes at the comment from Raven. At dinner, she couldn’t stop looking at the pair and laughing, saying how much shit the two were going to go through because of this lie.

“My cousins bet money on when we were going to get married?” Lexa furrowed her brow at the comments made by Luna. She looked slightly offended. “Wow,”

“When did this happen? And how?” Abby demanded, eyes switching from Clarke to Lexa. 

“Um… last week?” Lexa answered meekly. “And, um, in the kitchen… Yeah! Clarke was um, in the kitchen cooking and I, uh, I asked her to marry me then and there. It was simple, but um, it was us,”

“Just like that?”

“Yes ma’am. Just like that,”

“I didn’t even know that you two were together. Although, I’m not surprised,” Abby started pacing around the apartment, Clarke and Lexa looking at her like she was a time bomb. 

“What does that mean?” Clarke asked. 

“I mean, I always knew there was something between you guys. A bond that goes deeper than any of your other friends, Clarke. Lexa has always been special to you. Your father thought you two would get together in high school, but you know what they say. Better late than never,”

Lexa shifted uneasily on her feet. “Right,”

“And what are you planning for the ceremony?” Abby continued, asking the both of them. Lexa’s eyes met Clarke’s as she silently pleaded with the blonde to take the conversation away from her, feeling all different kinds of awkward. Even though she was a lawyer, Lexa felt extremely uncomfortable when the questions were aimed towards her. 

“I don’t know… maybe something small? Like a courthouse wedding?” Clarke suggested.

“Oh no, I did not just hear you say ‘courthouse’ and ‘wedding’ in the same sentence. Because if you did, Lexa would now be single because you would be dead,” 

“Mom!” Clarke’s mouth dropped open as Lexa hid her giggles behind her hand. “Lexa!”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa held up her hands in defense, still laughing. 

“You won’t be laughing for long, Lexa. Because I’ve been talking to Cassandra and she is not happy from finding out through social media that her firstborn is getting married,” Abby informed her.

Lexa’s face dropped and went pale. “Oh god,” 

“‘Oh god’ is right, Alexandria. I can’t believe this! Lexa, I’ve known since you were still sleeping with a night light! This is so unlike you!”

“Getting married?” 

“Getting married to someone like _Clarke!_ ”

“Mom!” Clarke was offended. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Abby brushed her daughter off and kept talking to the other girl. “Lexa, for as long as I’ve known you, you’re a planner. You plan out everything. You’re the girl who plans out car rides to a T. You can’t expect me to believe that you proposed to Clarke on a whim?”

Lexa flinched. Abby was right, Lexa couldn’t deny that. “What can I say… love makes me crazy,” 

Abby looked skeptically between Lexa and her daughter. “Alright. Where’s the ring?”

Clarke and Lexa looked at each other, each silently trying to figure stuff out in their own head. Lexa was the one to quip up. “Er… I don’t have a ring,”

“Alexandria Woods! You proposed to my daughter with no ring?!”

“No, ma’am! I-I mean, yes ma’am. Technically, yes but-“

“How do you propose to my daughter with no ring?! She deserves better than that!”

“I’m sorry!” Lexa was visibly panicking. “I-I didn’t get a chance to ask my mom about my grandmother’s ring because she’s on a business trip in Hong Kong and-“

“That is not an excuse!”

“Mom, you’re freaking her out!” Clarke went to go put her arms around Lexa, who was hyperventilating. “I don’t need or want a fancy ring. I just want Lexa,”

“I’m sorry, Abby,” Lexa murmured. 

“Oh Lexa, come here,” Abby held open her arms. Neither of the girls moved, so Abby went over to them, pushing Clarke away and hugging Lexa herself. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I was just so mad at Clarke for not telling me-“

“Hey!”

“-that I took it out on you. I’m sorry, sweetie,”

“It’s okay,” Lexa said shakily. “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything extravagant for Clarke. She deserves the world, and I failed to give it to her,”

Clarke’s heart melted a little at her best friend’s words. “You didn’t fail me-“

“Clarke, be quiet. You didn’t fail, Lexa. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to marry my daughter. I know you’ll be good to her,”

Abby pulled back and smiled at both of the girls. “Again, I’m sorry for how I overreacted. It’s late and I’m tired,” Abby chuckled slightly. “Anyways, I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you more in the morning,”

“But Mom… where are you going to stay?”

Abby raised an eyebrow. “You have two room, Clarke. Obviously I’ll stay in the extra one. I mean, you guys are engaged, so I know you’re sleeping together,” 

“Mom!”

“Oh come on, Clarke. It’s 2019, I know you kids aren’t modest,” Abby rolled her eyes, before walking towards Clarke’s bedroom door. “Goodnight, girls,”

“I swear, my mom likes you more than she likes me,” Clarke huffed, crossing her arms. 

“Oh, I know. She likes me and Raven so much more than you. She’s told us,”

“Excuse me?!” 

“Don’t take it personally. I’m just lovable,” Lexa smiles cheekily. 

“Gee, how could I not take that personally,” 

“Oh, come one, Clarke. Admit it, I’m lovable. You love me,”

“You’re annoying,”

“Yes, but you love me,”

~~

Cassandra was not happy. 

“How could you not tell me?” she said, voice stern and slightly angry. She was Facetiming Lexa, Clarke, and Abby the next morning from her hotel room in Hong Kong. 

“I… forgot,”

“Really, Alexandria? You ‘forgot?’” Cassandra looked unimpressed. “You once messaged me because you saw a cloud that looked like a duck. And you’re telling me you ‘forgot’ you got engaged?”

“I’m just as disappointed as you are,” Abby shook her head. “And get this. They had the audacity to think about a courthouse wedding!”

“A courthouse wedding?!” 

“We didn’t want anything expensive,” Lexa insisted to her mom. “With student debt and everything-“

“Nonsense, Lexa. Your father and I are paying for this entire thing,”

Clarke felt her eyes bug out of her head. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Lucas and I have already talked about it. It’s done. Don’t worry about any expenses,”

Abby cut in. “Cassandra, we can’t accept this. Jake and I-“

“Ah. Abby. It’s done. All taken care of,” Lexa’s mom brushed her off. “Seriously. You guys do not need to worry about a single cent. It’s all covered. But Lexa, if I ever hear you utter the words ‘courthouse’ and ‘wedding’ again, I will disown you,”

Clarke could laugh at the reaction on Lexa’s face. It was so priceless. 

“I have to get to a meeting. I come back Wednesday night. I went ahead and booked the wedding planner for when I come back. She will be at the house on Saturday at noon. Abby, Clarke, Lexa, I expect you all to be there. Till we meet again,” Cassandra hung up abruptly, leaving the three women with no room to protest her demands. Lexa sighed, giving Clarke a side-glare as if to say _This is all your fault._

Clarke couldn’t meet her eyes. She knew that.

That night, after Abby left (she insisted on staying until lunchtime, trying to hammer out any details she could about Clarke and Lexa’s ‘relationship’), Clarke went into Lexa’s room. Lexa has refused to talk to Clarke for most of the day, being (understandably) incredibly pissed off. Clarke couldn’t stand to see the most important person in her life be subjected to immense torture (aka, planning a fake wedding with the typical psycho moms in wedding mode like Abby and Cassandra) for Clarke’s own selfish gain. 

The brunette was lying facedown on her bed, the sound of One Direction’s “Heart Attack” coming through Lexa’s phone speaker. Even though Lexa would never admit it, Clarke knew Lexa was a secret Directioner. 

“Hey,” Clarke said timidly, sitting on the edge of Lexa’s bed. Lexa gave a muffled response, refusing to turn around. Clarke sighed, pulling out her peace offering. “I got you a jumbo bag of tortilla chips,”

A mumbled “Thanks,” was heard but Lexa still didn’t move.

“I was also going to order a pizza from that place on the corner, what kind do you want?”

“Not hungry,”

“You gotta eat something,” Lexa propped herself up on her forearms.

“Got a huge bag of taco chips right here,” She gave Clarke one of those grins white people give when they see someone they barely know, the kind where you just really put your mouth into a line, before tearing open the bag.

“Lexa, I’m really sorry,” Clarke said wholeheartedly. “If I knew our parents were going to get involved and make a huge deal out of this I never would have done it. You’re the most important person in my life and I feel terrible for putting you in a position like this. I know I don’t deserve it but if you could find _some_ way to forgive me-“

“Already done,” Lexa said, munching on a chip. Clarke was taken aback.

“Really? I thought I had to bring out the water works,”

“Clarke. Hey. You’re my best friend,” (Clarke ignored the pang that hit her heart. Weird) “Of course I forgive you. What this is is a pity fest. It’s my fault for taking it a step further and announcing it on Facebook, hence also meaning our parents,”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. Only a nerd like Lexa would use the word ‘hence’ in a normal conversation. 

“It’s just…” Lexa took a deep breath. “Just seeing Costia and her shiny new boyfriend just made me _so angry_. And the way she acted like I was nothing but an old friend… I don’t know. Something inside me snapped,”

“I understand,” Clarke gave Lexa a sympathetic smile. “But you shouldn’t be beating yourself up so much. You don’t have to go through with this,”

“No, I am,” Lexa assured her. “I’m getting you this money if I die trying. And besides, did you see the look on Costia’s face?” Lexa grinned like a kid on Christmas morning. “Amazing,”

“I know. That bitch was crazy jealous,” Clarke chuckled. “But still, not as crazy as our moms,”

“I know. But it’s only because my mom really likes you. She’s going to be devastated when we get fake divorced,”

“You’re already thinking about divorcing me?” Clarke feigned hurt, placing a hand over her heart. “We’re not even married yet! I’m crushed! To think I gave the best years of my life to you!” 

This caused Lexa to smile, which made Clarke happy. After all the shit that went down in the last two days, Clarke was relieved that Lexa was still in this with her and didn’t hate her. Clarke obviously knew that the two of them would eventually get fake divorced when they got fake married, seeing how they couldn’t live this lie forever. She never thought about how others would react to their inevitable divorce.

“You know in high school my mom actually tried to get me to ask you to prom after the whole Costia scandal,” Lexa laughed lightly, not noticing Clarke’s alarmed and surprised expression. “But you know, you were with Finn and he had already asked you-“

“I would have gone with you,” Clarke cut in.

“I- really? You would have?” Lexa looked equally as surprised. “You would have ditched your boyfriend to go with me?”

“No boy is more important than you, Lex,” Clarke said softly, meeting Lexa’s eyes. They were full of wonder and awe and… something else. 

“Wow. Thank you,” Lexa’s cheeks flushed as she dropped Clarke’s gaze, looking at her lap. “But it would have still been too fresh for me, with the Costia thing happening shortly before. It would have been too hard for me to be there and see her get crowned Prom Queen and act like she didn’t ruin me,” That’s right. Costia won Prom Queen. Clarke forgot. But she remembered wanting to wipe that smug look off of Costia’s face when she did win, to snatch that crown right off her head and punch her in the face.

“Do you ever regret not going to prom?” 

“No. Not really. I mean, it would have been nice to have one last hurrah with my friends, but remember how Bellamy was home from college and scored last minute tickets to that Rihanna concert the same night of prom and took me? Yeah. So worth it,” Lexa smiles, reminiscing what she once told Clarke was ‘the best night of her life.’ “Besides, I had formals and stuff for my sorority in college, so I don’t feel like I missed a lot,”

“I still can’t believe you were in a sorority,” Clarke laughed. 

“I know. I was shocked myself,” Lexa shook her head, a huge smile on her face. She stuffed more tortilla chips in her mouth, offering some to Clarke, who declined. “I’m going to watch a movie. Raven’s been texting me about this new Netflix one called _Bird Box_. Wanna join?”

Clarke nodded and joined Lexa up at the top of the bed, the laptop sitting between them. As Lexa was typing in the website, Clarke said. “Thank you, Lexa. For doing this with me. I know it’s a lot to do, but I love and appreciate you so much,”

Lexa gave Clarke a reassuring grin. “You’re my Clarke. I would do anything for you,”

~~

“How _badly_ do you need this money?” Bellamy asked. He had invited the fake couple over as well as Octavia and Raven. 

“So, so badly. But now that doesn’t matter, because our parents think we’re getting married so we can’t back out now. Lexa’s parents are setting up a meeting with some extravagant wedding planner on Saturday,” 

She turned to Bellamy and shook an accusing finger. “And what the _fuck_ did you write in that fucking letter that got us into this mess in the first place?”

“How is this my fault? You were the one who asked me to do it! I was just delivering,” 

“Why didn’t you just ask Lexa’s parents for the money in the first place instead of asking some random billionaire to send you a wedding present?” Octavia questioned. 

“Oh yeah, why didn’t you do that?” Lexa sat up. “My parents love you. They would have done it,”

Clarke’s mouth fell open, before she sunk down in her seat. “I dunno. Doesn’t seem right,”

“But trying to scheme money off an old man is,” Octavia raised her eyebrows. 

Raven chuckled. “Only Clexa would get into a mess like this,”

“I’ll drink to that,” Bellamy agreed, lifting his bottle of beer to his lips. 

“What does that mean?” Lexa asked.

“Well, Clarke has many, many stupid ideas. And you, little sweet, innocent, sexy Lexi, go along with every one of them. So I’m not surprised that you went along with her,”

Lexa started to protest, before Clarke cut her off. “First of all, don’t call my fake fiancée sexy. Second, Lex, I told you that you always end up doing what I want. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s true. Third, I do not have stupid ideas,”

“Clarke, admit it. This idea is stupid,” 

“Okay. _This_ was a stupid idea. But we’re working on it,”

“By planning an actual wedding,” Octavia pointed out. “A wedding that Lexa’s parents are planning and where you guys will legit be married,” Clarke is silent.

Raven slapped Clarke’s shoulder like she just had the best idea ever. “Can I be the minister?”

“Raven, what the fuck,”

“C’mon! It’s perfect, just think about it. I’m not ordained or a Justice of the Peace or whatever, so you won’t actually be married! You can have all the glitz and glamour but none of the legally binding stuff!”

“She has a point,” Lexa admitted. 

“Please? It’ll be hilarious. No one except the people in this room know this whole thing is a farce, and in this case you guys won’t actually be married!”

Clarke thought for a minute. “Alright. Fine. This hole is so deep we have nothing to lose,”

Raven cheered, high-fiving Bellamy. “Yes! You will not regret this, Princess,”

~~

On Saturday, Lexa, Clarke, and Raven drove to Lexa’s childhood home in the suburbs. Well, ‘home’ wasn’t exactly the word. Lexa grew up in a mansion, completed with servants, maids, cooks, and a gigantic backyard that had a lakefront and sycamore tree that Lexa and Clarke used to play on. It was also the place Clarke told Dante Wallace their ‘wedding’ would be. 

The three of them were sitting at Lexa’s dining room table, mugs of coffee in front of them. When Abby arrived, she was more than shocked to see Raven with them.

“Why is Raven here?” Abby asked.

“Raven’s going to be our minister,”

“Raven’s going to _what?”_

“It’s not like we can have a priest,” 

“Relax, Mama G. I got this. I’ve been certified and everything,” Raven grinned, winking at Clarke. Abby’s lips formed a thin line. 

“Clarke-“

“Girls, this is Alie. I hired her to be the wedding planner,” Cassandra announced, walking in with a woman in a red dress following her. To Clarke, the woman moved like a robot, perfectly upright and stiff. Her movements looked mechanical. 

“Miss Griffin, Miss Woods,” Alie said politely. Lexa shook her outstretched hand while Clarke just nodded. The two women joined the others at the table, Alie setting up her laptop and notebooks before turning back to the future ‘brides.’

“First things first, when would you like to have this wedding?” Alie asked.

“June 27th!” Clarke said. (It was the date she put on Dante Wallace’s invite)

“That’s close,” Alie said, emotionless. (Clarke noticed that she hadn’t seen any emotion on Alie’s face besides _blankness_ ) “It is March. Must it be that date?”

Clarke bit her bottom lip. “Yes. I insist,”

Alie pressed her lips into a thin line. “Very well,”

“Why that particular date?” Cassandra questioned.

“Um… you know,” Clarke started to blush. “I’ll finish the school year then and… it’s… important?”

“To you both?” Clarke nodded uneasily. 

Lexa sighed. “If you won’t tell them, I will,” 

“Lexa, shut up,” Clarke begged. 

“Tell us what?”

“She chose June 27th because that’s Lauren Jauregui’s birthday,” 

Raven spat out the coffee she was drinking, causing the other people present to jump with surprise. She started laughing uncontrollably. 

“Seriously? That bi girl from Fifth Harmony you have the hots for? You chose to get married on her birthday?” Raven laughed so hard tears started forming in her eyes. 

Clarke’s cheeks burned red. At the time of writing the fake invitation for Dante Wallace, she happened to be listening to a Fifth Harmony song. Lauren, being the only out queer member and bisexual like Clarke, was her favorite, so she decided to use her for the random wedding date. 

It was a good idea at the time. It was a bad idea to inform Lexa of the little detail. 

“And you’re okay with this?” Alie looked at Lexa pointedly. To be fair, it was weird to get married on the date of the bride’s celebrity crush. 

“Yep,” Lexa nodded. She had to be, it’s what they told Dante. “It’s… strange. But then again, so is the girl I’m marrying,” 

“Very well,” Clarke could have sworn she saw Alie give a little eye roll. “Venue?”

“The backyard here,” Lexa said easily. “I’m sure that would be alright with you, right, Mom?”

“Of course,” Cassandra nodded. “The backyard is perfect for a summer wedding, and we know it will be free with such short notice. We can set up an aisle and chairs and have the ceremony facing the lake, I can get those through one of the companies that does our company’s benefits. Who will be saying the ceremony?”

“That would be me, Mama Dubs,” Raven up-nodded. 

“Okay,” Cassandra shrugged. “If that’s what you guys want,”

“You took that so much better than my mom,” Clarke commented. 

“I was just surprised, that’s all,” Abby defended. “Being married by a friend is just abnormal, that’s all,”

“Abnormal? Well then, what’s the norm for a lesbian wedding, Mom?”

Abby opened her mouth to protest, but then shrugged. “Okay, you’re right. Raven, best of luck,” 

“Thank you!” Raven beamed. 

“Date and venue, check,” Alie cut in. “Now, before we get to catering and logistics, I assume you will want joint bridal showers. Correct?”

“Yes, which we will also host here,” Cassandra nodded. “We’ll need invitations for those as well. Mainly for the female family members and friends-”

Lexa added, “I want Aden and the guys there, not just women,”

“We’re thinking of an early June date,” By ‘we,’ Cassandra meant her and Abby. 

“I can get that to work,” Alie types away on her tablet. “Honeymoon?”

“I need to see how long my work would let me take off,” Lexa fiddled with the mug in her hand. 

Cassandra rolled her eyes. “Nonsense, Lexa. You work for your Uncle Gustus’s law firm. He’ll let you take off as much time as you want,” 

Lexa started to blush. “But mom, it’s not right, especially because I just started working there-“

“Tut, tut, Lexa. Let me handle this,” Cassandra waved the girls off. “Now, about the decorations-“

“Are we even a part of this planning?” Clarke whispered to Lexa, seeing how invested Cassandra, Abby, and Alie were, leaving the other three girls out of it.

“I doubt it. I’m pretty sure since we told them courthouse wedding, we have been exempt from all wedding planning procedures,” Lexa shrugged. “Fine by me. It means all we have to do is show up,”

~~

Showing up was not all they had to do. 

The two moms dragged Clarke and Lexa to several wine tastings, cake tastings, dress tryouts, and color scheme testings. For a fake wedding, there was a whole lot of effort going into it. 

It seemed like Cassandra and Abby had turned into mega-bridezillas and were pissed off at Lexa and Clarke’s calm and nonchalant attitude about their wedding.

“You’re getting married for fuck’s sake! Show some more emotion!” Abby once snapped at the two. 

“I told you, all I want is the marriage part,” And the money from Dante Wallace, but Clarke left that part out. 

Lexa got the short end of the stick. Her mom was like Abby on crack. Everyday she called Lexa with an update on the planning, but barely gave Lexa any room to object to the final decisions. She would show up unannounced at the apartment and Lexa’s office to bring her to another wedding related event. By the time the wedding shower got around, Lexa was fed up.

“When I get married for real, we’re just going to Vegas,” she told Clarke the night before the big party. “No moms, no drama. Just me and my wife,” 

“I agree. It’s going to be low key when we actually get married,” Clarke paused, realizing the words that slipped out. “I mean like, when we each get married. To other people. Not each other,”

“I understood,” Lexa smirked. “You okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Clarke fake yawned and stretched. “Oh boy. I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Goodnight,” Clarke barely heard Lexa’s half-hearted “Goodnight” before locking herself in her room.

 _God,_ this is painful. Clarke pushed away the pull at her heartstrings. 

If something were to happen between her and Lexa, it would have happened in the twenty years that they have known each other, right?

It’s what Clarke had to believe.

The next morning, Clarke was thrown into a whirlwind of wedding bell drama. If this was just the shower, she didn’t want to see what the wedding was. 

Upon arriving at the Woods mansion, Clarke and Lexa were immediately separated by their mothers, each of them critiquing something about their daughters (For Clarke it was her choice of outfit). Cassandra had dragged Lexa off and away from Clarke, leaving Clarke to stay by herself and wander around the preparations. Alie was there also, commanding the servants on what went where. As well as…

“Aden?” 

“Hey Clarke!” the teenage boy said excitedly, engulfing the blonde in a hug. 

“How did you manage to get bigger? I saw you at Christmas and you have got to be at least three inches taller!” Clarke exclaimed, having to reach up to ruffle Lexa’s brother’s hair. “How was the rest of your freshman year?”

“Pretty good. I miss being there. But I’m stoked to be back for your wedding. I can’t believe Lexa finally asked you to marry her,” Aden gave her a wide, boyish grin. “You know I used to hope you two would get together when I was younger,”

“Really? That’s probably the second time I’ve heard that-“

“Hey nerd,” Anya said, coming up being Aden and messing his hair. “Hey, Clarke. Congrats,”

“Hi Anya! Lincoln here?” Aden asked his cousin excitedly. 

“Wow, I love you, too. He’s driving over with Octavia. I came with Luna and her parents early to help your mom,”

“Aren’t you supposed to be making me calm today?!” the three heard Lexa shout. “This is stressing me out, Mom!”

Anya smirked. “Oof. Better go check on Auntie C. Take care, you guys,” 

“Kind of salty Lexa chose her for maid of honor rather than me for best man,” Aden whispered to Clarke. “But I’ll get over it. Not like I want to plan Lexa’s bachelorette party or anything. If you need me, I’ll be with our dads watching sports in the screening room. There are so many people here I doubt anyone would notice if I slip out,”

Clarke agreed with Aden. Abby was off somewhere doing God knows what and Lexa and Cassandra were nowhere to be found. 

Clarke walked through the upstairs hallways of the mansion she basically spent most of her childhood in. Memories of her and Lexa’s times as kids running around this place came flooding back, causing her to smile. 

She found herself in Lexa’s old bedroom, everything perfectly in place from her canopy bed to her desk covered with old notebooks and accolades neatly stacked and organized. 

Clarke hasn’t been in this room in ages, yet everything remained unchanged. There was a map of the world on one of the walls that she knew was covering a mark from a soccer-ball related incident from middle school and a box in Lexa’s closet she used to stash alcohol in. The drawer next to Lexa’s bed is where she stashed important momentums like ticket stubs, pictures, and trinkets. When Clarke opened it, she saw a familiar brown notebook, the edges worn and tattered.

Clarke remembered this thing. She was there when Lexa received the leather bound journal for her thirteenth birthday. It was a gift from her grandmother, supposed to be used to write down those ‘precious teenage memories’ so Lexa wouldn’t forget them. She flipped to the back cover, seeing a hand carved inscription Lexa must had done when she was younger.

_AW + CG_

Alexandria Woods and Costia Goode. Ugh. Their names even rhymed. 

“You okay?” Lexa asked, lingering in the doorway of her old childhood bedroom. Clarke jumped, not expecting Lexa to be around.

“Overwhelmed. I feel like a guest at my own wedding shower,” Clarke answered. Lexa nodded.

“Understandable. Our mothers have really planned everything down to the last second,” she noticed the old journal in Clarke’s hand. “What do you have there?”

Clarke suddenly felt embarrassed for snooping. She tried hiding the journal behind her back, but it was too late. Lexa had already crossed the room and took it from her.

“My old diary? Jeez, this thing takes me back,” she smiled fondly.

“I didn’t ready it,” Clarke assured her. “I don’t want you to think I invaded your privacy or anything,”

“It’s okay. Nothing really good in here anyways,” Lexa chuckled, flipping open a page. _”Dear Diary, Today Anya pushed me down a flight of stairs in front of everyone as part of freshman hazing. But then why didn’t she do it to Luna too?_ See? Boring,”

Lexa took a look around her old bedroom. " _God,_ this place needs redecorating,” she took Clarke by her hands, leading her out. “But that can wait. C’mon, fake fiancée. Guests are arriving,”

And so they were. She must have been wandering around the upstairs section for a while as she saw dozens of guests scattered throughout the mansion, with more coming in through the doors every second.

“We should just get married now, save everyone the trouble of coming back,” Lexa murmured in her ear as they got to the bottom of the stairs. “But of course, Dante Wallace isn’t here,”

“And showers are mainly for the old lady relatives to gossip anyways,” Raven cut in, walking up to the pair with a glass of champagne in hand. She downed the flute in one gulp. “But another excuse for me to get drunk,”

“Raven, you’re the minister. Don’t you think getting drunk in front of our relatives before the big day makes a bad impression?” Lexa chided.

“Bite my ass, Alexandria,”

Their other friends joined them, scattered ‘congratulations’ chiding throughout. Clarke had barely been able to see most of her friends as much as she had seen Lexa, Raven, and the Blake siblings, with the fake wedding and the end of her semester taking up most of her time. It was good to see them again, even if it was to profit a scam only about five people knew about.

“I don’t recognize a lot of these people,” Harper said. “Relatives?”

“And my mom’s coworkers. She thought if we had a big wedding shower she could invite her associates or something and have the wedding be smaller,” Lexa informed.

“And ‘smaller’ to Aunt Cass still consists of, what? Three hundred people?” Luna chuckled.

“Eh, two hundred. She’s improving,” The two cousins laughed.

“I’m proud of you, Lex,” Luna beamed. “Didn’t expect you to be the first Woods grandkid to marry, but hey, you found a good match,”

“Thanks,” Lexa grinned, wrapping her arm around Clarke’s waist. A string of agreements and small ‘cheers’ swept through the group, except for one person.

“Got to say, I’m surprised,” Jasper said skeptically. “That you two are together, that is. I mean, I’ve never seen you guys kiss or anything,”

“Is this just some pervvy way you’re trying to get them to make out with each other?” Monty laughed. “Gross, dude,”

“No, I’m serious!” Jasper defended. “Just saying, in all the years that I’ve known you guys, I’ve never seen anything between you. Like throughout high school and college? No action. And you’ve been living together for years and we haven’t heard anything about you two together or hooking up. And now you’re getting married?”

“So because we don’t mack on each other every second you don’t think we’re a couple?” Lexa asked, amused. 

“All I’m saying is… uh. Look, I love you both and I, um. You know what? Forget it. I’m happy for you guys. Really,” Jasper gave them a pleading smile. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. You’re together. Okay?” 

“Just in case,” Lexa grabbed Clarke’s face and crashed their lips together. Clarke tensed up, not expecting that from Lexa at all. Her hands were on Lexa’s chest, pushing away slightly. Out of all the times she imagined her first kiss with Lexa, this was not it. 

Not that Clarke ever imagined kissing her best friend. No, that never happened. 

Lexa released Clarke’s mouth with a loud ‘pop,’ turning to Jasper with a satisfied smirk. Clarke was sure her cheeks were as red as the wine the Woods were serving. 

“Babe…” she murmured. “Not in public,”

Clarke looked over and saw Luna smirking at them. “Damn Lex, save it for the wedding night,”

Jasper’s face burned, him becoming all flustered. “Sorry, Lexa. Didn’t mean to make it awkward. I’m… going to get cake now,” He walked away, head down, Monty and Harper in tow.

“I’m going to find Lincoln and Anya. I think great aunt Gladys trapped them in another one of her stories,” Luna playfully punched Lexa on the shoulder. “Congrats again. See you later,”

“Great thinking, Lexa!” Raven exclaimed. “That showed him. Hilarious,” 

“Seemed like the right way to shut him up,” Lexa smiled smugly. “Sorry I kinda attacked you there, Clarke,”

“Not a problem,” Clarke murmured.

“C’mon, our moms might kill us if we don’t go mingle,”

“See you guys around!” Raven called after them, full flutes of champagne in both hands. “And thank your mom for the open bar, Lexa! I’ll be using that a bunch!”

The next hour and a half consisted of Clarke having to endure awkward small talk with relatives from both sides of the family, Lexa glued to her side. She would zone out from time to time, the guests blurring together as Lexa chatted with them politely. She felt super bad, leaving Lexa to be the one to deal with and talk to the guests at the fake wedding that Lexa didn’t want in the first place and in no way was benefitting her.

Some friend she was.

Clarke was able to slip away when Lexa was talking to her uncle about some big case she was helping with, heading to the bar so she could drink away her guilt. Raven was right; if there was an open bar, she should utilize it.

“Vodka cranberry, and keep them coming,” Clarke told the bartender, who worked quickly. She downed the drink in one go, slamming the glass on the table as the bartender went to bring her another one. She heard someone laugh next to her, looking up to see Lucas Woods nursing a whiskey at the bar, a signature Woods smirk on his lips.

“Whoa, there, killer. Slow down. Haven’t seen you chug something that fast since you were in high school,” 

Clarke blushed. Mr. Woods was always nice to her, being more relaxed than his wife when it came to her and Lexa drinking in their teenage years. Still, even though she was now legal, it was still weird to have an adult who she’d known forever catch her drinking. “Hi, Mr. Woods. How was your business trip?”

“Oh, you know. Another day, another deal. How about you? Enjoying yourself?”

“I’m a little frazzled, to be honest,”

“I get that. My wife can be a handful sometimes,” Lexa’s dad chuckled. “But she throws one hell of a party, I give her that,”

“I agree,” Clarke took a sip of her new drink, hoping the alcohol would help calm her nerves. “Thank you for all of this wedding stuff. You guys really didn’t have to,”

“Of course we did, Clarke. It’s not everyday our little girl gets married,” Lucas smiled fondly. “And to a great girl like yourself. You know, I always liked the idea of you two together,”

_Did everyone in Lexa’s family secretly want the two of them to get together?_

“Thank you,” Clarke said quietly.

“And since you kids are getting married I guess it’s safe to say that Lexa had a crush on you back in high school,” Clarke eyed him warily. “I’m serious! Lexa was always like ‘Clarke this, Clarke that.’ Girl was so in love with you, I swear,” Lucas laughed heartily. “And from what Jake had told me, you loved her too?” he raised an eyebrow, smirking.

Clarke literally had no idea what to say after this bomb was dropped. “I… um-”

“So I’m going to spare you the whole ‘don’t hurt my little girl’ speech, because I know you won’t,” Lexa’s dad placed a hand on her shoulder, smiling widely. “You’re a good kid, Griffin. Welcome to the family,”

He pulled her into a hug, and Clarke felt her heart break. She felt _so guilty_ that she was using Lexa like this, and how she got her family involved. From across the room, Clarke saw Lexa looking at her, smiling when she caught her eye and making her way over.

“Okay, Dad, can I have my fiancée back now?” Lexa laughed. Lucas held his hands up in defense, also chuckling. 

“Whatever you say, boss. I’m going to go find Lincoln and Aden,”

Lexa leaned over and took a sip of Clarke’s drink, wrapping Clarke in a hug. “You okay?” 

“Fine. How about you?”

“Peachy. Just spent ten minutes explaining to my great aunt Gladys that I’m a lesbian,” Lexa smirked, jerking her head to the side. “There she is,”

Clarke looked over at a little old woman standing with Luna and Anya. She was looking at the two of them, squinting. 

“Is that Claire?” she basically yelled in Luna’s ear.

Lexa leaned down and pecked Clarke’s lips, noticing the other girl blushing. “For show. Let’s go give her one,”

For show. Lexa had kissed her twice today and they had both been ‘for show.’ Ouch.

“Aunt Gladys,” Lexa led Clarke to the old woman. “This is Clarke, my fiancée,”

“Clark? That’s a boys name! I thought you were a gay, Alexandria!” Lexa’s aunt said, putting on her glasses to look at Clarke. 

“It’s a girls name too, Auntie,” Anya informed her, yelling so she could hear, rolling her eyes oh-so-slightly. 

“You have my sister’s ring!” Gladys exclaimed, grabbing Clarke’s hand.

“Yes, I told you, Auntie. I proposed to her with it,” Lexa forced a smile, prying Clarke’s hand out of her aunt’s death grip.

“It’s great to meet you,” Clarke told her.

“What?” she shouted. “What did you say? Where am I?”

“You’re at Lexa’s wedding shower,” Anya screamed in her ear. 

“Alexandria is getting married? I thought she was a lesbian?”

“Lesbians can get married now, Auntie,”

“Oh good for them,” Gladys studied Clarke. “You are very pretty. Good for you, lesbians,”

“Clarke’s actually bi,”

“Bye? Where are we going?” Anya rolled her eyes. 

“I lost a bet with Lincoln and I’m watching her now,” she grumbled. “I’m making Luna stay with me so I don’t go insane,”

“She’s also paying me for it,” Luna said happily. “Fifteen bucks an hour and any alcohol of my choosing. Worth it,”

~~

When people started to clear out, Clarke felt a surge of relief. The day had been super stressful for the blonde. The people left in the Woods mansion were the their immediate families and a handful of friends who refused to leave. While the adults were in the kitchen, Raven pulled their group aside in the living room.

“I got you guys a gift,” Raven said, handing Lexa and Clarke a rainbow colored bag with a mischievous grin. “Happy wedding,” 

Clarke took the bag from her and reached in. Her fingers closed around something rubbery. “Oh my god!”

“What?” Lexa asked, taking the bag from her fake fiancée. Lexa reached in and pulled out a bright pink strap-on and belt, mouth wide open as she held the dildo in front of her. 

Octavia groaned. “Oh god, Rey. I didn’t think you were serious,”

“Of course. I would never joke on such a serious matter,”

“Lexa, honey, what is that?” Cassandra asked, walking over to the group with Aden in tow. Lexa, turning scarlet, quickly hid the toy behind her back. 

“Nothing, Mom,”

“Someone got you guys a gift you didn’t open in front of the others? Let me see,” Cassandra grabbed Lexa’s hands and brought it to the front, seeing the bright pink phallic shaped object in her daughter’s hand.

Clarke was giggling. Lexa was horrified. Raven looked uneasy, not expecting Lexa’s mom to be involved in her gag gift. 

“Alexandria!” Cassandra scolded, covering Aden’s eyes. 

“This wasn’t my doing!” Lexa said frantically, waving her hands (and the strap-on) around for emphasis.

“Really?! In front of your brother?!” Aden was cracking up along with Clarke.

“Aden’s a boy! He knows what a penis looks like!” 

“Alexandria Jasmin Woods! This is absolutely absurd!” 

“Why are you blaming me? It was Raven’s gift!” 

“Well you don’t need to be waving it around in public! I raised you better than this!” Cassandra ripped the toy out of her daughter’s hand, shoving it back in the bag and hiding the bag behind a plant.

“I don’t remember the tip about not waving dildos around,” Lexa said dryly. 

“Do not sass me, Lexa. It is not a product of a strong mind,”

“I am not to blame here! It was Raven’s gift!”

“Don’t drag me into this, please,” Raven silently begged. Cassandra glared at her. “It was a joke! And besides, are we really going to pretend that married people don’t have sex? This just spices it up!”

“Raven!” Clarke elbowed her in the ribs.

“Okay, I’ll shut up,” Raven bowed her head, defeated. “Sorry,” 

“I’m not. This is hilarious,” Bellamy laughed. “Especially since it looks like Raven got a huge one. Drag her, Mama Dubs,”

“Bellamy, go fuck yourself,”

“Fuck me yourself you coward,”

Cassandra dragged a hand down her face, shaking her head. She swiftly turned on her heel and stalked away.

“Get it out of my house, Lexa!”

~~

It was the day before the wedding, and Clarke was about to explode.

It wasn’t because of the fact that she was getting married tomorrow. It was because of _Lexa._

Lexa. Who had been sleeping in Clarke’s bed most nights because one of their mothers had been in their apartment for planning. Lexa, who would wake up wrapped around Clarke in the center of the bed with her forehead creased while she slept, heavy breathing from her oh-so-kissable lips hot against Clarke’s neck. Lexa, who would kiss Clarke and hold her and caress her when others were around to keep up the act that they were in love.

Lexa, who broke Clarke’s heart a million times over because she knew none of this would ever be real.

The life-ruiner in question was currently speaking to their mothers, hunched over last minute seating arrangements and other small details for the ceremony tomorrow. Clarke had hung back, sitting at the kitchen counter with a mug of coffee watching everything. From time to time, Lexa would glance over at Clarke and smile, causing her heart rate to intensify.  
Clarke’s phone was ringing. Bellamy’s name flashed across the screen, the silly contact picture of Bellamy laying on his back in the snow, piss drunk from a night out with Raven and Clarke coming through. “Hi, Bell,”

“Good morning, Princess,” Bellamy said. “Want to get breakfast?”

“My wedding is tomorrow, Bell. I have lots of last minute plans to work on,”

“Your mom is right there, isn’t she?”

“Of course,”

“Well, more reason for you to come with me. Get out of the hectic wedding drama,”

“I can’t just leave Lexa,” Clarke tried. Lexa looked up at her from her space on the couch.

“Who is it?” she asked curiously. 

“Bellamy. He wants to get breakfast,”

“Go,” Lexa insisted. She walked over to Clarke, wrapping her arms around her neck. “It’s your last day as a ‘free woman.’ Enjoy it,” Lexa leaned in and kissed her cheek.

 _This is all for show_ Clarke thought, ignoring the pounding feeling in her chest. That’s what they did when the family was around. Lexa would hold Clarke’s hand or kiss her cheek or constantly be touching her. It was painful. It’s not that Clarke didn’t like it, she actually loved it. She just knew everything was fake. 

“Bellamy? This is Lexa. She’ll meet you at Arkadia Diner in 15,” Lexa said in the phone. “Help her take her frazzled mind off of the wedding,”

“What about you?” Clarke asked. Lexa just smiled at her.

“I’ll hold down the fort,” she kissed Clarke’s forehead. “Go have fun,”

~~

“Can’t believe we’re finally here. To think this all started with my letter to Dante Wallace on your behalf,” Bellamy smirked. “I got to say, Princess, I was a little offended you didn’t choose me to be your fake spouse,”

“It’s 2019, Bellamy. Quit being so heteronormative,” Clarke said jokingly. 

Bellamy smiled, taking a sip of his coffee, leaving the mug at his lips before asking the question Clarke had been asking herself for the past three months. 

“Are you still in love with Lexa, Clarke?”

“Bell-“

“Because I think it’s kind of funny how out of all people, you chose Lexa,”

“She’s my best friend,” Clarke defended.

“Who you once told me you loved,”

“I do love her,”

_“Romantically,”_

“That was a long time ago,” Clarke mumbled, stabbing her pancake with a fork. 

“So… feelings are gone?” He took Clarke’s silence as an answer. “Oh, Griff,”

“Shut up,”

“You’ve got it bad. How have you hid it from her for so long?”

“I said shut up, Bellamy,”

“Damn. And we have the rehearsal dinner tonight. And your fake wedding tomorrow. Is the money going to be worth the pain you’re causing so many people?”

“This is your fault you know,” Clarke snapped, eyes hardening as she pointed and accusatory finger at one of her best friends. “I don’t know what kind of crap you wrote to Dante Wallace, but because of that letter, we’re in this mess,”

“The letter that you begged me to write. And I made it sound so much better than you crappy draft,”

“Don’t hit me with facts. I still blame you,”

“Blame me all you want, Princess. You know this is all on you,”

Clarke glared at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be making me feel better?”

“No, I brought you here so we could sort this out. Together,” Bellamy folded his hands together like he was a doctor. “So. You wrote Dante Wallace through me to very illegally get money in the form of a wedding absentee gift. You asked Lexa to be your fake fiancėe who then used this ploy as a way to get back at her ex, which then involved her parents who are now throwing you this huge wedding,”

“Yes, that is what's happening,”

“But the B-plot to this is that you’re in love with Lexa, who has no idea and is just doing you this favor out of the goodness of her heart. This must be killing you,”

“Thanks,”

“Not a compliment. Just trying to lay out the facts,” Bellamy leaned forward. “And, knowing you, you won’t tell her about this,”

“Are you crazy? Of course not,”

“And why is that?”

“Because it would make things weird,”

“I think it’s weirder if you don’t say anything, and then you have to pretend that you’re a married couple for at least a few years,”

“Well no one asked you,”

“Clarke,” Bellamy sighed. “Clarke, look at me,”

“No,”

_”Dude,”_

Rolling her eyes, Clarke looked up. Bellamy had a soft, yet sympathetic look in his eyes.

“Just tell her. What’s the worst she could do?”

“A lot, actually,”

“Quit being such a drama queen, Griffin. That’s Raven’s job,”

“I bet she would love to hear that,” 

"Well don't tell her," Bellamy chuckled. "Look, Clarke. You know I want what's best for you. And I think one day you're going to really hate yourself if you don't tell Lexa how you feel,"

"Thanks for your input," she muttered.

 _"Clarke,"_ Bellamy shook his head. "Don't go into this with regrets. Or secrets. It's going to kill you,"

He left her with that, having the blonde sit in contemplation of what to do. Fuck him for that, really. It didn't help her at all. All it did was bring feelings she'd been pushing down for years to the surface, making her face the cold hard truth. Well, she didn't want to face the truth. She wanted to live in her bubble of denial.

But he brought it up, and the feeling wouldn't go away. Standing alone in her apartment the night before her fake wedding to the actual love of her life, Bellamy’s words rang through Clarke’s head.

_You’re in love with Lexa_

She was. Oh god, she really was. 

She loves Lexa. Stupid, dorky, wonderful Lexa. She loves the way she clicked her ‘Ks’ when she says Clarke’s name. She loves how entranced Lexa got when watching squid documentary videos on YouTube and how she winds down by dancing to One Direction at midnight. She loves how her clueless Lexa is on the effects she has on people, and how she doesn’t understand that she is the light of Clarke’s world. She loves how selfless and dedicated Lexa is to her friends, and that she would do anything for them, even if it includes throwing a sham wedding.

“Having second thoughts about tomorrow?”

“Lexa!” Clarke said surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here, dumbass,” Lexa smirked. 

“I know,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “But why are you _here_ here? I thought you were spending the night at your parents,”

“And you told me you were going to your parents house after the rehearsal dinner,” Lexa cocked an eyebrow. “Cold feet?”

“Of course not,”

“Good. Cause that would have been embarrassing for me,” Lexa giggled. Clarke gave her a weak smile, to which Lexa tilted her head like a confused puppy. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” she responded, looking down at the floor.

“Please don’t lie,” When Clarke didn’t answer, Lexa sighed. “Clarke, please,”

“Don’t worry about it,”

“I’m going to. Because you’re my best friend and I care about you,”

“Lexa…”

“The last thing I want to do is to go into this fake marriage with problems,” Clarke grimaced at the words ‘fake marriage.’ “I saw that, Clarke. What is it?”

“Nothing,”

“Don’t give me that crap,” Lexa was annoyed now. She walked over to Clarke and made her look up at her, staring into her bright blue eyes. “Tell me,”

Clarke was lost. Well, not exactly. She didn’t feel _lost_ as much as she felt _home_. In Lexa’s eyes. Home was in her eyes.

“I love you,” she whispered quietly. She searched Lexa’s face for any reaction, to which she found none. She felt her heart crack. “I’m sorry. I ruined it. Please forget that I said anything. Better yet, forget that you’ve ever known me. Just throw your entire memory aw-”

Clarke shut up because Lexa decided to kiss her. It wasn’t like the ones when others were around, no. This one was slower, and softer. Lexa’s lips moved with a purpose, gently pressing against Clarke’s as if she was going to break her. She pulled away moments later, gazing into Clarke’s eyes.

“You just kissed me,” Clarke said blankley. “Why did you do that?

Lexa grinned, biting her lip. “Because I’ve loved you since we were thirteen, you dope” 

Clarke gawked. “What? You’re lying,” 

“I am not. Remember when you found my high school diary during the wedding shower?”

“Yes,”

“Do you remember the thing I engraved in the back?”

“‘AW + CG’ Lexa and Costia,”

“CG are your initials too, dumbass,” Lexa laughed. “I wrote in that journal until I was fifteen when I ran out of pages. I met Costia when I was sixteen. It’s you, Clarke. Always has been,”

These words made absolutely no sense to Clarke. “But… Costia…”

“When you started dating Finn Luna told me it was time to move on,” Lexa looked down at her lap. “And I did, mostly. I loved Costia, but not like how I love you,” 

“And… when I asked you to fake marry me-”

“It hurt, but I did it for you,” Lexa smiled sheepishly. “I would do anything to make you happy, Clarke. Even if it ruined me,”

“Oh my,” Clarke said quietly. “Why on earth…?”

“Because I love you, Clarke,” Lexa kissed her. “I have for a long time,”

“Are you sure you want to start this now?” Clarke asked, pulling away. “I mean, I’m about to go into my last year of med school and then my intern year and residency and I will have barely any time to-“

“Clarke,” Lexa said calmly. “Shut up and kiss me,”

“Okay,”

~~

“So, you guys are now dating, but you’re also getting fake married today,” Octavia said, seeing if she got the story straight. She was working on the finishing touches of Clarke’s updo while Raven did her makeup.

“That’s how it seems,” Clarke shrugged, which prompted a ‘stop moving’ from Raven.

“Only this shit would happen to you losers,”

“No calling the bride a loser on her wedding day,” Abby chided, coming into Aden’s bedroom-turned-dressing room.

“There goes my speech about Lexa,” Raven joked, finishing with Clarke’s makeup. Abby glared at her. “Jeez, sorry,”

“I can’t do jokes today. Everything is finally set up perfectly and the guests are arriving so I need today to go off without any problem,”

“Wow,”

Clarke turned to the doorway and felt her heart burst. Lexa was there, white dress and all. Her hair was pulled back slightly, intricate braids woven into her hair as her makeup danced delicately across her face. She looked like a masterpiece, a piece of art so beautiful that Clarke wanted to cry. 

Abby frantically tried to shield Clarke from Lexa’s eyes, causing Clarke to snap out of her Lexa induced trance. “You can’t see her! It’s bad luck!”

“I don’t believe in that bullshit, Mom! Let me see my future wife,” Clarke demanded, getting up and pushing Abby out of the way. “Can we get a minute alone?”

Abby grumbled, before ushering the other ladies out of the room. When the two of them were alone, Clarke saw that Lexa was still staring at her, eyes wide and smiling. “Wow,”

“You said that already,”

“You’re so beautiful I can’t remember any other words,” 

Clarke blushes deeply. “Shut up,”

Lexa stepped closer and gently caressed Clarke’s cheek. “Still want to fake marry me?”

“Depends. Still love me?” 

“How could I not?” 

Clarke smiled and kissed her gently. “When we do this for real, everything will be so different,”

“I can’t wait,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss her again.

Frantic knocking at the door made the two break apart. There was someone on the other side telling them it was almost time and Lexa needed to leave Clarke’s room. Lexa rolled her eyes. “Jesus. You’d think they’d be a little more respectful today,” With one last kiss, she started to leave.

“I’ll see you soon,” Clarke called out. 

At the door, Lexa stopped. Flashing a grin, she winked at Clarke. 

“I’ll be the one at the end of the aisle,”

~~

Making Raven the minister had got to be one of the best, and worst, decisions Clarke had ever made. 

“Hello, friends,” Raven started. “We are gathered here today because these two idiots finally removed their heads from their asses and admit that they love each other,” 

There was an audible gasp from the crowd, probably from Lexa’s mother. Raven stayed channeling her inner Chanel Oberlin. “About time, too. I thought we would be as old as Lexa’s aunt Gladys before they did that,”

 _”Raven,”_ Lexa warned.

“Forgive me, but I have a point. Anyways, I’ve known these two idiots since I moved here in the sixth grade, and my first impression of them was ‘Wow those guys are nerds.’ And I was correct!” Raven paused for a moment.

“Is there a ‘but?’” Clarke asked.

“No, you’re a nerd. Continuing, so I’ve known these two for such a long time. And if I know anything, I know these two are soulmates. I’ve never seen two people compliment each other so perfectly. So today, I don’t think I’m marrying them, because these two have basically been married for years. I’m just the lucky person who finally makes it official,” Raven sent a wink to Lexa, as if saying _’not really.’_ “And if Kris Jenner can marry people, then I sure as hell can too! So! Let us get this whole shebang on the road, shall we?”

~~

 

“Attention!” Lexa called, tapping a glass with a spoon. “Hi, everyone,”

“Speech!” a voice called throughout the crowd.

“Thanks, Bell,” Lexa raises her glass. “Anyways, um. I want to thank all of you for coming here today. It means a lot to me and Clarke,”

“I met Clarke in kindergarten. I remember I was crying because my mom left and my cousin Luna was in another class so I was alone. That was, until this small blonde child walked up to me and told me she would give me one of her Oreos if I shut up,”

The crowd laughed as Clarke remembered that moment fondly. Lexa was sniffling too loudly and it made Clarke lose concentration on her drawing. 

Lexa continued. “From that moment on, I knew this stubborn and slightly rude person was going to be special to me. So I went home that afternoon and asked my mom how to make someone my best friend. She told me that I couldn’t ‘make’ her do anything, but to just be myself and it wouldn’t be a problem. I didn’t like that answer, so I called Anya, who I thought was a lot smarter because she was in the second grade. Anya offered to push Clarke’s face down in the dirt at recess until she agreed. Luckily for Clarke, Anya’s father overheard this and forbid it, so I had to go with my mom’s plan. But that wasn’t as much as a problem as I anticipated, because Clarke and I quickly became each other’s number one. And it stayed that way ever since,”

Lexa looked over at Clarke and smiled. “Now, I’ve loved her for as long as I can remember. But it had mostly been in silence. Our timing had never been right, until recently

“You’ve been with me through it all, you’ve pushed me, cared for me, and loved me throughout some of my worst moments because… because you’re you. I can’t even begin to imagine my world without you. And because of this,” Lexa gestured to the rings on their fingers. “I never have to. So, thank you, Clarke, for sharing Oreos with me all those years ago, and for sharing your life with me now. I love you,”

She was crying. Yep. Clarke was crying big time. As were most of the other attendants. Especially when Lexa leaned down to kiss her. 

“You bitch,” she mumbled, causing Lexa to look confused.

“Pardon?”

“How am I ever supposed to top that?” Lexa smiled and kissed her again.

“You don’t have to, love. I can be the super romantic and eloquent one in this relationship,”

“Hey people!” Raven shouted, causing everyone to look at the table where the girl was standing with one hand on Bellamy’s shoulder for stabilization. “I got another speech too,” She cleared her throat and pulled out a cocktail napkin from her clutch. “Let me tell you about this little bitch ass loser named Lexa-”

“RAVEN SIT DOWN!” 

“I WILL NOT BE SILENCED, MAMA G,” Raven screamed as Bellamy and Octavia tried to force her down.

“She’s drunk! Everyone just move on!” Octavia called, causing attendants to laugh.

That was not Raven’s last moment of the night. After the dinner course she decided to proclaim her undying and eternal love for Anya and challenged Monty to a “dance battle” only to be escorted off the floor by Lincoln. Her and Octavia were also caught in the bathroom chugging a bottle of stolen vodka halfway through the night, prompting Abby to drag both of them out by their ears.

Around ten, Clarke felt a tap on her shoulder. There, smiling at her, was Dante Wallace himself. “Hello Clarke. It’s nice to finally meet you,”

“Hi, sir,” she squeaked, slapping Lexa’s arm so the other girl would realize what was happening. 

“Alexandria, hello. I didn’t realize Lucas was your father. He’s been an old friend of mine,” Dante smiled warmly. “I’m honored you two invited me to this special day of yours,”

“Of course, sir,” Lexa said regally, seeing how Clarke seemed speechless. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

“This has got to be one of the strangest weddings I have ever attended,” Dante told the couple, obviously referring to Raven’s antics. He chuckled. “But, nonetheless, it was fun. It always warms my heart to find two people so in love,”

He handed the two an envelope, grasping on to both of their hands. “I wish you many years of love and happiness,” 

“Thank you so much, sir,” Lexa smiled, arm wrapping around Clarke’s waist. He turned to leave, flashing one more smile at the girls, but Clarke quickly spoke up.

“Mr. Wallace, I just have to ask… What made you so interested in us?” After all of the hectic and emotional events leading to this moment, Clarke needed to know what exactly prompted the man to be so fascinated by her and her ‘wife.’

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for childhood lovers. It’s how I met my wife,”

Clarke physically and mentally slapped herself on the forehead once he left. “Childhood lovers. Damn it. I should have just said I met you at a bar,”

~~

“How was the Bahamas?” Octavia asked, ushering the two girls into her apartment. “I want to hear everything!”

“Amazing. I spent most of the time naked,” Clarke beamed. 

“And the island would have been great to explore if Clarke let me leave the bed,” Lexa added. 

“I let you leave! We went to the beach a couple days,” Clarke argued.

“Until you would dragged me back to the room like, two hours later,”

“People were staring at you like they were about to orgasm on the spot! I didn’t like it. Besides, I didn’t hear you complaining when my mouth was on your-”

“You know what? Forget I asked!” Octavia cut in, pushing the two forward. “Guys, say hi to Clexa! Quickly!”

“There are my favorite scammers!” Raven greeted. “Lexa! Glad Clarke let you out of her sex dungeon long enough for you to join us!”

“How do you know it was me who let her go?” Clarke asked, seeming slightly offended. 

“Clarke. Princess. Babe. You’ve waited what, twenty years to bang Woods? Yeah. It was you,” Clarke pouted.

“Speaking of waiting twenty years to bang a Woods, Anya told me about the date you guys had the other night. So I would shut up if I were you,” Lexa teased. Raven’s face instantly blanched. “I heard you cried,” 

“You _cried?_ ” Octavia sputtered, barely paying attention as she sat on the couch with her eyes locked on her phone.

“I did not!” 

“Well you’re going to cry when you see what we just cashed in,” Lexa held out the check that Dante had gifted them, waving it in front of Raven’s eyes.

“Holy shit! He gave you how much?” Raven yelled, grabbing the check out of Lexa’s hand. “Fuck! I gotta get fake married. Bell! Will you fake marry me to get money like Clexa here?”

“Aren’t you dating Anya now?” Bellamy yelled from the other room.

“Yes! So I said fake!” 

“It’s not like he’s going to fall for that again,” Bellamy chuckled, walking into the living room with a six pack. “Besides, Anya scares me,”

“Yeah, Rae. She’d kick his ass. And it took so much scheming to pull that shit off. Takes a lot out of you to plan a fake wedding,” Clarke said from her place on Lexa’s lap. 

“I mean, it was literally a real wedding, we just had a fake minister,” Lexa corrected. “So not only does Dante Wallace think we’re married, so does everyone else,”

“Amazing. You guys are my heroes,” Bellamy laughed, cracking open a cold one. 

“Wait a minute, Rae,” Octavia paused, wide eyed. “Remember that night you visited me in college during my summer program and you got really drunk off of Fireball?”

“I do not remember anything from that trip, but continue,” Clarke gave her friend a quizzical look. “I blacked out! Jeez, Princess. It was college. Live a little,”

Octavia was watching a video on her phone, brows furrowed. “Oh sweet Jesus. Look,”

Clarke, Lexa, and Raven crowded around Octavia’s phone. Lexa felt her stomach drop.

 _”What did you just do?”_ Octavia’s voice shouted in the video.

_“I became an ordained minister! Hell yeah, thank you internet! Reverend Reyes coming through!”_

“Oh shit, that’s hilarious,” Raven laughed, before her face fell. She looked at Clarke and Lexa in horror. “Oh fuck. You remember this _now?_

“It popped up on my Twitter Timehop! Do you know how many times I tweeted while drunk during college?”

“Wait, Raven’s actually ordained?” Bellamy asked. He threw his head back and roared with laughter. “So Princess and Lex, you’re- you-“

“We’re actually married,” Lexa gawked. Clarke’s face lit up. She kissed Lexa happily, before getting up and pulling Lexa with her. 

“Okay guys, sorry to cut this so short, but due to new information, I have to go home now and fuck my _wife,”_

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on Tumblr at princessdianaofthemiscyra


End file.
